Two Birds And An Ice Cream Lid

Last year I was at a park in Perú. A "Jesus Walk", is what my mission team and I called it. We made time in our week to go take a walk with Jesus or to sit and talk with Him on a bench there in the park. I remember being so tired from all the things going on in my life. I wanted peace instead of the striving I felt in my heart. I wanted to know that I mattered, that I was loved, even with my flaws and imperfections. I wanted complete and overwhelming rest, that went deeper than just a good night’s sleep.

When I would go on my walks with Jesus, I looked for Him. I looked for lessons He wanted to teach me through nature or through the other people I saw walking in the park. I sought Him, and I found Him. The things He taught me in those quiet moments, when it was just the two of us, I was able to take with me throughout the day. They were my anchor in the waves, and my hope on the dark days.

But even then, even when I had seen how He had shown up each time my heart was ready to meet Him, there was this anxiety I felt - this pressure to learn some great, awesome thing from Him. I wanted to feel like I was wise or mature, so that when I met with my team, I would sound smart or like I was at the same “level” of Christianity as my teammates.

On this particular day, I don’t remember much about what I was thinking or feeling besides the anxiety to learn something impressive. But I do remember sitting on a bench near the entrance to the park. Our allotted time before we were going to head back to the church was nearing an end, and I was battling comparison. I hadn’t felt like God had shown me much that day, and I felt silly for that.

Some time in those minutes on that bench, I glanced behind me. What I saw were a couple of birds and an upside-down ice cream container lid with some melted ice cream still on it. The birds, in a beautiful park full of green grass and trees, and probably many worms too, were trying to eat the small amount of ice cream still left on the lid. And this is when something clicked in my head.

This is when I realized I was one of those birds. I go to things in the world that weren’t created to fill me. I go to things, expecting them to meet some void in my heart, to heal some wound inside, but they haven’t yet and they never will. Only God can fill the emptiness inside.

And in my Bible time with Jesus today, I realized something else as I thought back to that day in the park. I read the beginning of John chapter 15 where it talks about abiding in God and how Jesus is the vine and we are His branches. I came to verse four, which says, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.”

I realized that God created us to have all our needs met in Him. I realized He created us to feel fulfilled and complete in Him. It’s not just that we don’t feel fulfilled in the things of this world, but that He created us to thrive and feel fully alive when we are with HIM and in His presence. We can’t bear good fruit without Him and His Holy Spirit’s work in us.

This can be discouraging when I haven’t been making time for Him. But it also gives me hope. It also reminds me that when I seek Him with all my heart, I will find Him. And He will meet with me and wash me with the word, with the truth of who I am in Christ, with the truth of what my purpose here on earth is, and with the truth that His love and grace is greater and more powerful than I will ever begin to grasp and understand.

It's not too late to choose Him. It’s not too late to seek Him and be honest with our doubts, feelings, and questions. He’s waiting for us. And will welcome us with open arms. Let’s try not to go to the ice cream container lid of the world but run to God and rest in Him as we go through life this week.

Your sis in Christ,

Hannah :)