4 Ideas For Helping Someone Dealing With Depression

Behind a smile could be someone’s deepest pain. Behind a hug could be someone’s darkest day. Do we really know the people around us or are they hiding behind a facade? Do they wear a mask to pretend everything is alright in their world, so that we’re not uncomfortable or brought down?

But if we really care about them, does it really matter? What if we knew it was life or death? What if they thought us better without them? How do you think it would it impact them, if we sat in the trenches with them, listened to them and then gave them a hand to pull them up and out?

Depression. Some people think it a label and an excuse for people to just feel the way they want to. People say, “Just believe and you’ll be ok.” But would you tell someone with a broken leg to just get over it? I don’t want to sound like God has no part in overcoming the battle of depression. He has a major part, and I don’t often give Him enough power and credit in my life. But I also believe God gave us fellow believers to be each other’s faith when we’ve lost hope, to remind us of God’s promises when we feel He has abandoned us.

You don’t have to continue reading this if you don’t want to. I’m not going to be offended if you don’t read it. But I’ve seen beautiful friends and family members who feel so alone, so hopeless, so worthless and it truly breaks my heart. That’s why I want to share a few ideas on how all of us can help meet those closest to us where they’re at and be a reminder of the love Jesus has for them.

1. Prayer - We can ask if they would like us to pray over them. If they say no, then we can pray in our hearts. There is something about welcoming God into a situation that often calms a heart. Praying truths can change a perspective and offer hope in a seemingly hopeless situation.

   
   

   

2. A hug - ONLY if they allow it. I know for me, sometimes a hug is exactly what I need. Other times it’s the last thing I want and I’d much prefer someone to just be with me and listen. But a hug is a visual action that shows you care and love someone.

   
   

   

3. Being willing/choosing to sit and listen - We can all tell (for the most part) when someone is being genuine or not. If we say we care then we need to show it.

   When I think of the book of Job in the Bible and the common idea that his friends were rude and unkind, I forget what they did when they first came to Job. I forget that they came and they sat with him for seven days and seven nights (Job 2:13)! They didn’t offer advice or correction. They silently sat with Job and showed him that they were there for him. Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us and be a friend. That doesn’t mean we can’t eventually share the truth of what God says with them. I think it’s very important that we DO share a possibly new perspective that could help change whatever the situation may be, or at least a mindset about the situation. But it’s important to realize what our heart is behind what we share and especially how we share.

   
   

   

4. ASK QUESTIONS! We can’t assume how someone else is feeling because we’re not inside their mind seeing their thoughts and feelings. Asking questions, again, can show that we care and helps us better know what’s on their heart and how they might want us to help.

   If asking a million questions is adding stress or anxiety to what the person is already feeling, a good question is, “What would you like me to do for you right now?” Maybe they don’t want help fixing the problem, but they do want someone to sit with them and be emotional support.

I understand it can be uncomfortable getting in the dark, dirty trenches with someone. But it’s what Jesus did with us, isn’t it? Aren’t we thankful He didn’t leave us in our pit of sin and shame but instead He reached out His hand and pulled us up? He brought light and hope and joy to our lives. And with God’s guidance we can help bring that to others.